When someone you thought was so close to you dies, you will see it as a desertion because you are attached, in some way reliant, leaning on them. They have seemingly aborted their journey by your side, breaking their contract. Naturally, there are moments of aching loneliness and the glaring need to make changes, to adapt to a new style of life in their absence. There is also the profound shock that the object of your love, and perhaps your entire life, has vanished forever, perhaps suddenly.
We can easily project our feelings of need or possession on to others, contaminating them, forcing them to feel guilt if we do not get our own way, or if they do not feel or act the way we expect them to. And so, in the name of ‘love,’ we pressurize the people around us exactly so that we can get our own way, and use fixative from the mind to make love permanent. This manipulation is not ‘love.’ It leaves others with no choice but to wear masks, to be dishonest, to spare our feelings, and ultimately under the duress of these acts of violence and separation, they cannot bring out their true nature. This creates something unnatural, a museum piece, a stagnant pool, a plastic flower.
Divine love, the energy or force of our essence as humans, flows like light going wherever it can, indiscriminately. Its focus is as wide as the horizon, and it is not bound by likes or dislikes, by fads or fashions. When we embody love we know there is no choice and that the energy of our loved one is required to be combined with ours for a universal invisible purpose. The love embodiment of others will find us if we remain open, unprotected, standing always in the full flow.
Love is like the weather or the perpetual blue sky behind clouds. The conditioned mind has no power to change it because it is limitless, way beyond the visual aids of ‘time’ and ‘space.’
A beloved husband drowns while swimming in the ocean with his wife. She eventually finds his body along the beach. There are sparkling grains of sand on his lips, and that is what she remembers most of the last sight of him. She grieves, haunted by their significant moments together during a lifetime, but gradually she picks up her life and continues on with a strong sense that her love for him will never end. Then one day after she has healed, she visits his favourite local art gallery and there, walking towards her, she sees him. She wants to look more closely, but he is wearing a hat obscuring his face, and he quickly leaves, so she follows him, and presents herself in his art class.
Looking directly into his eyes, ravaged by his voice, she collapses with the shock of this appearance, and he is predictably bewildered by her reaction. She is certain he has come back to her exactly so that she can love him without fixing him in stone, without turning him into an object, and by letting his true nature run free.
Soon he dies, for a second time, and she receives a memorial card inviting her to his final exhibition consisting of all the paintings he did once they were together though briefly. And there, he has captured her swimming fearlessly full in the flow, and the painting sets her true nature free at once.
At last, they are both embodied in their love and breathe together as one eternally.
A beautiful story, my dear, that sums up a beautiful life. When the dream at times become more real than reality.
Your first few paragraphs made me think of a type of Love I witnessed at home, co-dependency. And yet in the imbalance of power and love I saw between my parents, I could feel balance and another from of conspicuous, silent Love, caring.
Have a beautiful life, my dear!
Hello brother Good,
You are a peach, always taking your precious time to comment and bring lovely observations! thank you. I feel it’s a very special way to communicate which no-one else can be bothered to do, though I know a lot of people read my writings.
Mindfulness? Yes, French Buddhists usually use avoir ‘pleine conscience,’ and yes, the context of course is everything. I think mindfulness is really just watching your mind instead of identifying with it – l’esprit en regardant? Mmmmm, not really a Christian way, except for reflection/contemplation. Mindfulness requires detachment and lay-Christians don’t really go in for that.
Yes, the conditioned mind – culture, gender, class, etc. – rather obsessed with it at the moment. But we can get beyond it with mindfulness and meditation.
So, the way we love each other is fascinating I think. But it’s really sad that many people see love as a commodity, wheeling and dealing with it, instead of just being it. My parents were amazing embodiments of love I’m so fortunate to say. Of course they had their struggles and character clashes, but they basically and equally adored each other. They shared great joy too, and we’re both very natural comedians.
The story I write about was inspired by a brilliant film I saw last night – I watch at least 1 film every day to work through karma – which I recommend. It’s called ‘The Face of Love.’ – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1839642/ – intriguing and thought-provoking meditation on permanence. One of Robin Williams’ last appearances.
You have a gorgeous meaningful life too my dear brother!
See you tomorrow I hope! So nice for you to accompany me in this way!
Xx
Thank you dear Sister.
It is always a pleasure to read you.
One movie a day to cleanse your karma? Seems to me that you are taking the easy way out! Or possibly in, depending on how one looks at karma, and it’s cleansing.
Our son is in charge of cleansing my karma, especially anger, at times when I am physically tired.
He came to us last night in the middle of the night. I finished my night in his bed, as as to avoid his frequent fidgeting.
He woke me up before 8:00 by turning the light, which I hate….big smile!
Decidedly, there is no good translation of “mindfulness” into French. Plein conscience doesn’t render the feeling of action, or at least observa(c)tion, that I can sense in mindfulness.
Love & much Light my dear